What No One Tells You About Trying to Conceive

You’ve probably heard the basics: track your cycle, time sex or insemination around ovulation, eat well, maybe take some supplements, and try to “relax.” It sounds simple enough, right?

But here’s the truth: trying to conceive (TTC) is rarely just about biology. For so many of us, it’s emotional, confusing, beautiful, messy — and a whole lot more complicated than we expected.

When we (Taryn and Kat) first started our journey to parenthood, we thought we were prepared. We’d read the blogs, joined the forums, even Googled “how to get pregnant fast” more times than we care to admit. But beneath all the advice, there’s a layer no one really talks about. So, we’re talking about it — the things we wish someone had told us when we started trying.

You’ll second-guess everything

Is that twinge implantation? Did I mess up the timing? Should I have laid with my hips elevated longer? Should I have skipped that glass of wine two weeks ago?

When you're TTC, your body becomes a puzzle you’re constantly trying to decode. Every symptom feels like a potential sign. Every cycle that doesn’t end with two pink lines can feel like a personal failure — even though it’s not. At all.

Here’s the thing: conception is part science, part timing, and a good dose of luck. It’s not your fault if it doesn’t happen right away. You’re not broken. Your body isn’t letting you down. It’s just… more complex than we’re taught to expect.

The two-week wait is actual torture

There’s no preparing for the emotional chaos of the two-week wait (aka the time between insemination or ovulation and when your period is due). Those 14-ish days somehow feel like 300. You’ll fluctuate wildly between “I just know I’m pregnant!” and “There’s no way it worked this time.”

We’ve cried over negative tests and convinced ourselves we were feeling symptoms that weren’t even real. And guess what? That’s normal. The waiting, the overthinking, the cautious optimism — they’re all part of it.

Just be gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to hope and protect your heart at the same time.

You’ll probably become a bit obsessed

No one warns you how all-consuming TTC can become. Suddenly your browser history is full of “early pregnancy symptoms” and “11 DPO faint line??” Your calendar becomes a color-coded fertility tracker. Your body becomes a science experiment.

And it's not that you’re trying to obsess — it's just hard not to. This thing you want so deeply becomes the filter you see everything through. And that can be both exhausting and isolating.

Let yourself come up for air when you need to. You're still a whole person, even in this season of waiting.

People will say all the wrong things

From “Just stop trying and it’ll happen!” to “My friend got pregnant after a juice cleanse!”, the unhelpful advice comes in strong. Most of it is well-meaning, but it can sting — especially when you're already navigating disappointment or uncertainty.

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. And you definitely don’t need to follow anyone’s unsolicited “fertility hack.” Your journey is yours. You’re allowed to set boundaries around it.

You might not feel excited at first — and that’s okay

When you finally see that positive test, you might expect pure joy. But for many, the first reaction is actually disbelief… followed by anxiety. After so much waiting and trying, it can be hard to trust that it’s real — or that it’ll stick.

We’ve been there. It took a while before we could let ourselves feel fully excited. If that’s you too, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just human, and this journey has asked a lot of you.

Not everyone conceives quickly — and that’s normal

One of the biggest myths out there is that getting pregnant is fast and easy. But for many couples (even young, healthy ones), it can take months or even years.

Whether you conceive on cycle one or cycle twelve, it doesn’t define your strength, your worth, or your future as a parent. There’s no race. There’s just your story — unfolding in its own time.

You are not alone

This might be the most important one of all. TTC can feel incredibly isolating, especially when everyone around you seems to be announcing pregnancies like clockwork.

But you are not alone.

There are thousands of us out here — trying, hoping, grieving, starting over, and celebrating each other’s wins. That’s exactly why we created Hapū Helpers: to offer not just affordable tools for at-home conception, but also a space where your story is seen, heard, and honored.

We’ve been there. And we’re still walking alongside you.

If you need help going through any block, talking with a TTC consultant can help! Book a FREE 15 minute virtual consult today!